Archive for the ‘Fambly’ Category

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A change of seasons

November 11, 2006

I was talking to a friend over the (wonderful, amazing) weekend, and besides further cementing my opinion that she is brilliant, she made me feel much better about finally coming to a decision about something.

post10.jpgMonday Night Dinner has come to mean so much more than just what we eat that night. Many of you who read this know what it actually means, but for those of you who don’t, I’ll elaborate a little bit.

As Tom and I were getting more involved at Sandals, we naturally got to know more people who worked for the church.post09.jpg We connected with one couple in particular, and having them over for dinner a couple of times, we found out that due to where they lived, and their hectic lives, they ate dinner “out” every single night. Mostly fast food. This really bummed me out, and it occurred to me that if I were to make dinner one night a week–the same night every week–that they would have the chance to come for a home cooked meal at least once that week. If they couldn’t make it, that was ok, but if they realized they could, even last minute, they would know that they could drop in and dinner would be waiting for them.

It also occurred to me that there were single people who worked for my church, and chances were that their diet consisted largely of fast food as well, so I should probably let them know that they were welcome to come over too! Not to mention their friends, and I’d hate to leave anyone else who works in the church office out…you can see where this is headed.

My initial emailed invite list included about twenty-five people, with a note that they were to invite anyone they thought might not be eating well that night. It was awesome!! Each week I would make a big dinner, enough for whomever let me know they were coming, as well as some extra for those who may have realized last minute they could make it. A main dish, a side dish, a veggie and a salad, and dessert was up to them. I think in the first three months there were maybe two nights there was no dessert.

Not all 25 showed up, mind you. At first it was just a few couples and a single or two. A couple weeks after that it was a few more–some I had added to my list because I had missed them when I created the original list, some because word started to get around, and I didn’t want to leave anyone out.

Three months and twelve or so MNDs later and I was making dinner for 40-50 people a week. People would show up that I met that night for the first time. Some people who showed up didn’t know other people who were there, even though they’d both been goingpost06.jpg to Sandals for years! Having only gone to Sandals for a little over a year, that blew my mind the most. “What do you mean you guys don’t know each other?? How is that possible??” Every week was more amazing than the one before. So much talking, laughing, loving, sharing and caring, all going on in my house. My house? Really?? You don’t understand. Before God put this on my heart, I would not have let you, your brother, or your sick mama into my house. It’s tiny, old, and looks dirty even when it’s clean. Which is not often. But God works wonders, no?

post08.jpgOne of the most treasured nights was when the worship team came for dinner. Carlos holds rehearsal on Monday nights, so they were never able to make it. He told me one Sunday though that if we could schedule it, he’d forego practice to come see what all the hype was about. We made a date, and I let everyone know that I was only going to be doing dinner for the worship team, since I didn’t think I could handle the “regular” crowd in addition to that pretty big group.

It ended up being one of the most special nights of my life. Not only because I got to have them all here, to spoil as a way of thanking them for what they do for me every Sunday, but because Carlos brought his guitar in, and held “practice” in my living room–Carlos, Becca, Sarah D–singing, worshipping God, in my home. I can’t express how wonderful it was.

post11.jpgAnyway, back to cooking for 40-50 every week…it quickly became too much for me. It was a three day event–Friday afternoon and Saturday morning were spent cleaning, Saturday afternoon was grocery shopping (Costco, plus two different grocery stores), and Sunday was church from 6:45am to 1pm, then food prep, and/or cooking ahead of time anything I could get away with. And Monday was cooking all day, while also working at my full-time job (from home, but still).

I started having MND every other week, and then turned it into a “pot-luck”. After fighting it for so many months, I finally had to take everyone up on their offer to help by bringing food. It was very kind of them, and we still had nice dinners, but I have to say….it just wasn’t the same. Schedules had changed and those who had inspired the idea weren’t ever able to make it anymore, and since I wasn’t even cooking for everyone…you get the idea.

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In talking with this friend, and sharing my sadness over not having the passion to pull these off any longer, she shared the concept of certain things being “seasonal”. I didn’t need to wonder why my heart wasn’t in them anymore, but more importantly, I didn’t need to be sad about it. And that most importantly, I shouldn’t let the fact that I would be disappointing many people make my decision for me. I wasn’t really doing it for them anyway, I was doing it for me. Or some might say God. Whatever. I didn’t need to feel guilty, that’s the point.

And so I don’t anymore.  I’ve convinced myself that it allows me the opportunity to get to know people better–now that I have had the opportunity to meet so many people, it’s easy for me to have them over a few at a time for even more “relational” meals.

post07.jpgI will miss “MNDs”…the element of surprise when the doorbell rang (who’s it gonna be??), directing the food line through the kitchen, the sounds and smells and sights of Dinnertime, the look of contentment on faces of full-bellied people, the volume that only multiple conversations can produce, Dance Dance Revolution, Buggin’ Peanut, the realization that people have been in my kitchen cleaning for the past half-hour…(every week I was surprised! Go ADD)…and the special conversations between Tom and I after everyone had left. But I do know–once again because of my beautiful, wonderful friend–that I have not so much given up something as I have allowed one season to transition into another. And with each season, my life becomes more amazing.

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Plus, I can apparently come up with any number of random parties like “Smoothies & Hugs” or “Caramel Apple Making” to get big groups of you over here for a couple of hours. Don’t think I won’t think of more.

post02.jpg Thank you, Friends.

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Kids Love

October 23, 2006

One of the best feelings, as a parent or otherwise, is when your child first tells you that they love you, and you know they really understand what they’re saying. It’s something in their eyes.

As they grow, it’s as if they can’t tell you enough. With my kids anyway. Sometimes they’ll say I love you so many times in a day I want to yell at them, “I LOVE YOU TOO, OK??”

I hate it when I feel that. I work hard at not feeling that by reminding myself that they are saying it because they want to hear me say sweetly, “I love you too, Baby”, and if they keep repeating it, it’s because they are insecure in some way–I’m not giving them enough attention, most likely.

dexphone.jpgMost of the time though, when they’re young at least, they say it because it means so many things to them. They have that one phrase to let you know how thankful they are for you and what you do for them; how much they appreciate you providing food for them, brushing their hair, buying them clothes and toys, and creating a warm, safe environment in which they can grow.

What’s especially cool then, is when they begin to learn that there are other ways to express these things. When they can tell you exactly how they are feeling about you at the moment.

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I remember noticing this when Sadie was about four. She was really sick with the flu, and I had been up with her in the night for what seemed like hours, sitting with her on my lap on the bathroom floor out of sheer convenience. I had just freshened up a damp towel in the sink and put it on her forehead when she looked up at me and said “Mama, thank you for taking such good care of me.” It was more than words. It was pure emotion, and made her cry as she said it.

Dexter’s was today. Just a few minutes ago. He’s sick with a cold–nothing too bad, just a runny nose, a bit of a cough, and a slight fever I just discovered. After propping him up on pillows in my bed, giving him medicine and a snack and fresh water and finding something he wanted to watch on tv, he said “Mama, thank you for taking care of me when I’m sick.”

brianapp.JPGAs for Brian…unfortunately I don’t remember this moment with him. Things were not good when he was at that age. His dad and I were breaking up, and he was in turmoil. Anyhow, what’s funny is at almost 16, you’d think he’d have a thousand different ways of telling me he loves me. But no. It’s as if he’s reverted back to babyhood–he simply says “I love you, Mom”.

Of course, I have to say…at fifteen, and 6’1″ tall, when my “baby” hugs me and tells me he loves me? It’s good enough.

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Caramel Apples

October 9, 2006

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Well it seems I am not unique when it comes to my love of all things fall! For so many reasons it is my favorite season, one being that it’s such a welcome relief to a Riverside summer, but it’s the feeling you get from just being outside–the smell, the wind, the sound of the leaves scraping the sidewalks. Fuzzy sweaters, boots, and kids in hats…it’s all so good.

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Not having many family traditions, I’m working on creating some of my own. Caramel apples are a sure sign of fall, and to me, making them is just as much fun as coloring eggs at Easter. That being said, I am going to start a new tradition for my family–this means you and yours–by kicking off the season with a Caramel Apple making party.

I like the idea of having it around the same time every year–say the third Saturday in October? This of course means the first one would fall on October 21st. It would be (apparently my favorite way to host events) Open House style, meaning you could come for as little or as long as you like, between the hours of say…3 and 6? This allows you most of the day to enjoy the fall weather, come play with me, and still be able to have dinner with your most loved ones.

So there you have it. I will be supplying the apples, caramel, sticks and wrappings, etc, you feel free to bring your favorite “toppings” to coat your treats and share with others. Some suggestions would be:

fall03.jpgChopped nuts (almonds, peanuts, etc)
Sprinkles
Mini M&Ms
Mini chocolate chips
Mini Marshmallows
Candy Corn
Cookie/Graham cracker crumbs
…and/or whatever else you can think of!
As we get closer to the date, I would appreciate knowing if you can make it, so that I can be sure to have enough apples and supplies. And that’s it!

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Fun with Bible verses

October 9, 2006

Tom told me that he studied Dex’s Bible verse from church with him yesterday, and that he had him laughing so hard Tom was afraid he was going to pee his pants. I asked Dex about it, and he started laughing so hard he could barely talk.

His Bible verse from the weekend was: “Go to all people and make them my believers.”

Tom had him going by changing it to:
“Go to all people and make them…clean their rooms!”

“Go to all people and make them…a sandwich!”

“Go to all people and make them…slightly uncomfortable!”

Hearing Dex repeat the last one while laughing hysterically is one of those things that instantly became an unforgettable memory. I know without a doubt that when I’m eighty I’ll close my eyes and see him at four-almost-five, head thrown back and eyes wet with tears, giggling and saying with his little lisp “…slightly uncomfortable!”

Speaking of eyes wet with tears…

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Off to camp!

October 5, 2006

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Sadie and I leave tonight for three days–we are going on a Mother/Daughter retreat at Jenness Park! I am so excited to connect with my Babygirl with no distractions–no brothers to tease or be teased by, no “mama has to work”, no computer….nothing but focusing all of my attention on her and strengthening our relationship.

Have a great weekend! I know I will. 🙂